elephant gap

What conversation(s) have you been putting off? Are you digging yourself into a hole by refusing to name or discuss the invisible elephant in the room? 

People will go to great lengths to avoid or delay uncomfortable conversations. It’s likely the most common struggle that turns up during my discussions with clients, peers, and even with family.

In some cases, we don’t know how to craft our message in a way that will be productive while avoiding an eruption of emotions, and in other cases, we assume that what is unspoken simply "goes without saying.” Reminder: what goes without saying DOES NOT go without saying for everyone. Last but not least, even when we're not initiating the difficult conversation, the unpredictability or discomfort that we may encounter, can sometimes have us shut down or react in ways that don't align with how we want to show up for people.

When people resist leaning into challenging conversations, it can injure their relationships or lead to unpleasant outcomes that greatly outweigh the discomfort we're attempting to avoid in the first place. Furthermore, the more we delay conversations, the more likely we are to fill up unspoken gaps with our own narratives that we base on our own perceptions. An effective conversation (especially at work) should be a productive one that also considers the impact you desire to have on the other person.

*Every week I create & post a visual representation (an inkling) inspired by my work as an executive coach & leadership development facilitator.